Sick of being lazy

Hmmm, today I'm sick and tired.

I'm tired because I found a super-excellent-fantastic bloggy/websitey thingummy, and I've been sitting imbibing its wisdom for three nights whilst forgetting that my bed awaits in my cold bedroom upstairs.

I'm sick because I'm not well. I'm well enough to stare lovingly at super-excellent... blogspotty things until you-are-totally-out-of-your-mind-at-your-age o'clock.

I'm sick because where I did a large part of my growing up (in Canada) the local people said they were sick not that they were ill, unwell or off-colour.

But I feel unwell. Sometimes it veers into a slight case of illness.

I'm allowed to be. I'm home educated.

I could've faked it because I'm, without a faint doubt, on a list. I'm on the ill home educator list and I'll get a warning letter something like this:

"Dear Ms. Danae Trentsniffer,

I refer to your absents from the computer or any other of the educational places in which you could occur and which are appended in Appendix 2 of this letter.

Your absentence has been noted and should you exceed the total of seven point one six five days allottted for this term you will be referred to the Homeschool Attendunce Officer (heretofore referred to as HAO) who will arrange a visit to determine if yours is a true illness or a temporary illness that we can support you in.

The HAO is Mr. Donald Terrier who will visit you in three point six six repeating hours. Mr. Terier may, of course, be earlier or later than the stated time due to traffic conditions or his holiday in the Bahamas, and he may be Mrs. Rubella Noseclunker or her assistant, Ms. Harpy Artswiper.

Hoping you are well.

Yours truly,


Mr. Loreen Cudsworthy, 
Manager, Local Illness and Swinging the Lead Inspectorate.

When last appealed to Mrs. (or Mr.) Loreen Cudsworthy approved the plan of writing and producing her letters to me complete with grammatical boo-boos. I applied to her early because I thought the young fold might enjoy sporting the erros.

I alwo decidid to doe likewirse in mi bog.

But, you cry, how did their cume to be a HAHA officer?

Why, when you just got free of the schooled mess, should you reenterr the hell of officshul litters?

Wgekkm you could be having a larff. Or taking the fiss.

Don't forgit to prey for sum skulled kids who doe get this tripe of leter. Itz no jock to them.

Just one of the ways that home education vaults the hell over schooling in my humbel opinyon.


Right, children, SPOT THE DELIBRaTe MIZTAKES.



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